I Feel 16…for real.

This summer has been so weird because I feel like I am slowly regressing back to my teenage years. I am taking interest in things that people my age shouldn’t be interested in. I guess among all things is celebrity gossip. During my high school years, I rarely paid attention to stuff like that. I don’t think it was my own will but it was more the lack of instruments needed to do this. For instance, I didn’t own a laptop. I was really religious, not to mention the fact that I didn’t have money. But now, as a college graduate, I have all those things and I have the level of independence I need to do what I want when I want….(there are still limitations for me, even now, but you get what I mean).

I guess what I am saying is that I love this feeling, except the whole celebrity gossip thing. I don’t think youtube existed when I was in high school and THANK GOD. This whole week alone, I’ve probably been on youtube for a total of like 48 hours. It’s not like I’ve been learning any educational news on the site. I’ve just been watching blah blah blah Miley Cyrus blah blah blah Jonas Brothers blah blah blah Fred blah blah blah ALL THESE youtube competitors. When I say “blah blah blah,” I don’t even mean it in a negative way. I’ve actually been thoroughly entertained by all this stuff, which leads me to thinking………

Why am I 22?

People’s Thinking Process.

Sometimes I feel like life, itself, is the most ridiculous thing. I really don’t get the point.

It goes without saying that I appreciate the fact that I am alive. Yet the feeling that so many things go wrong without a purpose fails to leave me. Specially, I do not understand how other individuals, seemingly like myself, can do things so differently. I think what I am trying to say is that I have problem understanding our individual thinking processes. In terms of logic, there is always one decision that is ideal in every single situation, yet not all people strive to do the same right thing. So, am I wrong? Is the idea of ideal different in everyone’s heads for even the most basic of things?

Note that I use the term “basic” because obviously each individual has different options about different things when topics become more complex. For instance, “ideal” to some may refer to sameness in everyone, such as communism and fascism. “Ideal” to others may refer full acceptance of all differences, all races, colors, sexual orientations and etcetera. These are obviously much more complicated in terms of subject matter.

What do we view as the wrong things to do?

I guess even this can get complicated (i.e.: religion enthusiasts on homosexuality, republicans on democratic ideals, white supremists on everyone else and etc.) I am heading for more basic, like “murder is bad”. It is just so interesting how much perspective can vary on these things….

[I feel like I am rambling. I am trying to say what I need to say but I can not. I don’t know]

One side of the spectrum is Mother Teresa, the other end is Albert Fish (look this guy up, he is a crazy man). Somewhere in between these two are each and everyone of us. The question is where do we fall in this spectrum? Who are we closer to?

The way that most people think, its pretty shocking.

This is going to be too long of a post, so I will stop it right here.

Do You Really Know?

Everyone has something that they are good at, or something that they think they are good at.

Have you ever been convinced that you know about something. Like you’ve read all about it and you’ve seen things regarding it…

Then a situation comes up where that is tested and it turns out you knew nothing about it at all. Or maybe you were just at the tip of the iceberg.

If you haven’t experienced it yet, I hope you don’t  because I have to say,  it is an unpleasant feeling!

Read your books, Talk less and avoid situations like that!

*wanders off*

Time Travel

Today, I was talking to Chris about the whole universe thing I wrote about a couple days ago. And she thought it was interesting because of the time aspect of it.

Then I had remembered some teacher back in high school talking about the fact that a great scientist (I don’t want to say Einstein because I am not sure) had this theory that all life was like playing a tape cassette. There is a stop button, a play button, a rewind button and a fast forward button.  We on currently on play now, as I write, but humans still haven’t figured out how to use the rest of the buttons.  So if this scientist, I guess, believed that we could make some way to go back in time or “press the rewind button” so to speak.

Then Chris (the smart person she is) put a thought out there that I didn’t think of in regards to time travel. She said that if life was like a tape playing, people would never be able to do time travel.  If we press the rewind button, we (the intended time travelers) also rewind because we are a part of what is on the cassette. Therefore, we would lose knowledge of the idea and if we wanted to change anything, we couldn’t because we would go back to the mindset of the moment we wanted to change. Thus, we all make the same mistakes over and over again, no matter what.

Wow, I need to go pick a book on this stuff.

Facts: Intelligence.

I was in class today and my professor has to be one of the wisest people ever. Sometimes what may come of as simple knowledge maybe something that wasn’t simple at all.

For example, I learned this in my music class:

• 63% of students graduate top in High School.
• 25% of those students will graduate top in College.
• No matter what you think, the average IQ is 100.
• This means, the 50% of the population is below the average IQ.

Although, this is simple stuff, I wasn’t aware of it. Hmmmm….

Doesn’t this information make you feel better about yourself?

Ass! Why are you doing that?

Today I was walking with Chris and we were just talking about this situation. Now, the person we were talking about was obviously making the wrong decision but decided that they would do it anyways.

Now Chris stated “Why would someone do that?” Seems like a simple question, right? One could easily say “because he/she is an ass, duh!” But is simple right?

There are so many ways that you can break down an individual’s decisions. First of there is their personality. Certain personalities are more careful then others. Certain personalities are more logical then others. Don’t believe me, just look around you.  There are nice people. There are mean people. There are risky people. There are loud people. There are shy people. They are people who get pregnant at 16. There are gullible people. There are skeptics. There are 40 year old virgins. There are religious people. There are passive people. There are lazy people. There are short-tempered people and conceited people. There are hypocrites and so many more.

And that’s the thing, when you have all these personalities, how does one truly make a universal definition of what is good? That weird person that does something crazy has a way that they validate what they are doing on their heads, even if what they are doing it wrong.

…Which leads me to something else: the people who are hypocrites, in other words, all of us. We have all done this at one point and don’t say that you haven’t. We know something is wrong and when everyone else around us is doing it, we are like “what the fuck is wrong with you?” Then once it comes to us, we have the best excuse (another way to say “bullshit”) to tell everyone, so they can understand us. So that’s probably another reason why the person decided to do it anyway. I love this idea because it is funny how like months before someone will be like “I would never do that!” and later they’re the only culprit in sight.

Back to my point though…

Then there is the whole aspect of the psychological mentality of a person that most people don’t know about. I remember learning in Social psychology that idea that most people are too busy (too self-absorbed *smirk*) to really process a situation completely, so they just make a negative or positive assumption about it.  So, for example, I see a lady screaming in the street. Me passing by, I could be like “what a crazy bitch!” But if I were to look harder, she may have just lost her child in a car crash that happened five minutes ago.  Thus, the person could be doing what they are doing because of something they know that we didn’t even bother to find out.

There are so many aspects. Chris was saying that people just generally live in their own bubble, where they choose what comes in. Generally they follow their own decisions because everyone thinks they are right.

People…

Universe: A Friend’s Take.

I was talking to a friend on Aim tonight (I would write his name but I don’t know if he would be like “you wrote my name on the internet, dude!” or something) and he was talking about his view on the universe, which I thought was very interesting. We were discussing life and its purpose.

He said that he, for some reason, he felt like there was something higher. He didn’t know what it was but there had to be something more. There are so many things that are unexplainable. He just couldn’t accept that life just happened to be a series of random events due to evolution and the big bang.

He also had this theory that I thought was very interesting. He thinks that history repeats itself. This is because the universe expands and contracts, so it kind of goes the same course again and again. Putting this into consideration, it means we’ve had past lives, in other words, reincarnation. Things are repeating themselves, just with slight variations.

I guess I thought this was so interesting, that I had to write about it. I don’t know what other people think about this.

Reality Check.

Have you ever known someone that has the ability to bring your down (not necessarily in a negative way) no matter how high you are?

Well the person in my life that fits under that wonderful label decided to make me rethink my entire life so far with what was probably a ten minute phone call. 

On my 21st year, its finally all hitting me. This is the rest of my life right here and I don’t know if I am fucking it up or not. And I think thats the worst thing not knowing whether you fucked up or not. 

So I promised to report stuff on my internship, but I don’t know what to say. i haven’t really gotten into it yet and its been about 3 weeks. I don’t really know how everyone is taking to me there. I have to admit, I’ve been pretty awkward at my internship. I don’t think in my entire life, I’ve ever been in situation where I everyone knew each other and I was the only one who was new and was different. That is such a weird position to be in and I guess people don’t have the time to notice when something like that is happening to someone else.

So i am still adjusting to everything there. 

This is probably the most boring entry ever. I’ll think up better material. 

Growing Up Sucks

I am finally on the last year of my undergraduate career (which has been my dream all this time) and now that I am at this point, all I can think is “I wish I could go back!” How bad does that suck?

Well anyways, I don’t even know how I am finding the time to write in this blog right now, considering I should be sleeping and tomorrow is the first day of my internship (I am so scared).

Well if I ever get back on here after tonight, I will report on that and I will also write a better entry.

Byes.

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Wow. Sometimes people can be a real royal pain in the ass. [This written so you guys can get a sense of where I am heading.....a rant is coming up!]

Have you ever just met someone that you do not like or you just cannot get along with? I have and I am forced to see them on a daily basis and deal with them. This isn’t saying that I hate the person but we CAN’T get along unless one of us changes and I am sure its not gonna be the other person.

So guess what? It’s gonna have be me. I hate that. Changing for someone else so that they can feel comfortable. You have to try not to get pissed whenever they say something which is EVERYTHING they say.
But you know what? If I do change, no matter what they say, I will be the person that changed so that they could be comfortable. Does that make me better exactly? Who knows.

Sometimes I feel like I am stuck inside a cell [aka Life] blind-folded. I never know what to do exactly to get better at directions except just sit around and make the same mistakes until I just pretend they don’t exist. I hate that other people do that to every single one of us. We are all genes and influence. I hate the influence part.

Have you ever almost hated someone so much that you just wanted to stab them or something but you didn’t because you know its wrong morally? Well give yourself a pat on the back, you are somewhat of a good person. YAY!!